Today, we got into a car crash.


Little did I know.. I'd find myself with an exploded air-bag in my face, with bruises and cuts.. and that I could have lost two of my most precious friends. To think that I am sitting here, scribbling this.. seems like a miracle. He could have been in a coma.. she could have been thrown out of the car and paralyzed.. I could have closed my eyes for the last time. I cannot believe we made it alive to hear that stranger's apology that made my heart tingle in a weird way for hours.

I've never had so many thoughts and feelings gushing through my mind before. At first, it was filled with "WHAT IF we left 5 minutes earlier.. ONLY IF it didn't rain.. WHY us.. WHY during finals week?" All the shouldacouldawoulda's made me sick to my stomach. I was filled with anger, guilt, fury and everything else in between. For the first time in my life, I truly felt lost, confused, and just.. helpless.

You know, it's a horrible feeling.. realizing that you're not in control of anything in your life. Who says you're going to make it to the day you graduate college, walk down the aisle at your wedding, or see yourself in your child's eyes? Why do I keep reaching for things that don't matter, for things I won't think about in the last few seconds of my life, for moments that will not last? It's scary to think that I have absolutely no power over my own life. It gives me shudders to think that we, humans, are so weak and feeble.. that in a matter of a few seconds, we could lose everything we have ever lived for..

But what if we invested in something eternal.. some place that has no time.. someone who is everlasting? Then that's a whole new story. After reminding myself of Who my God is and why I don't need Him to justify today's accident to me.. all the unfortunate occurrences made perfect sense amidst the confusion in my head.

Today was a very unlucky day.. but ironically, it was also a very lucky day. We have experienced something together that will help us remember why we have no time to hate, to be indifferent, and take everything for granted. But what makes me ache the most.. is that I know I'm going to be numb to what happened today and forget all these epiphanies. I know I'm going to forget.. and blindly direct myself to things that have no eternal value. That's what always happens.

I still feel like it was all a dream. But the smell of the exploded air-bag, all the specs of dust, the pouring rain, the voice of the man.. was just so real. I keep trying to read over my econ slides, but the image of us crashing into that stranger's car.. just won't leave me alone.

But I keep hearing this whisper that helps me embrace everything that occurred today. "He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together." 1 Colossians 1:17.

Thank You, for always coming to the rescue.. for always being our Saving Grace, every single time we crash.
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