I always liked my black and white personality.
But these days, I don't mind showing color.
3 am. Soft rap is tickling my ears.
It's quiet - I'm the only one awake at this hour.
Perfect. I believe my life is perfect.
Two months.
The past 56 days have been a blur.
Like a big blob of a million happenings.
And I can't stop hating on time for passing by so fast.
I have learned and experienced so much.
Just being around people and being shaped by people.
Grasping harder on certain values.
And just - growing up.
So many blessings. Countless blessings.
And I wonder, why me? I don't deserve them.
I have so much that I have more to lose.
My summer in one word - family.
I didn't decide to leave home for two months just to adore a baby. I left expecting the journey to be more than just spending time with family - and it definitely was, but from beginning to end, my summer revolved around the people I love the most in my life. Changing diapers five times a day was one thing, and washing pacifiers and bottles with microfiber scrubs was another. Entertaining a one year old 24/7, and putting him before everything else in my life was not always fun. Endless chores, keeping up with family life, catching up with friends, planning the biggest party of my life, traveling around, making time for myself and above all, putting God in the center of every picture was too challenging. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't ever miserable. I think I enjoyed every single day of my summer. I tried to do something new daily. I figured out things about myself. I know exactly what I want and need in the upcoming year. And above all, I had so much fun. But how can I even put into words how much I learned and grew through Alex? Age is just a number. You see, I may have taught him how to clap and say "mom," but he taught me life lessons that helped me grow just that much more. And who knew it'd be this hard leaving him behind, knowing that he won't remember anything we shared this summer?
Two months wisely spent for a lifetime investment.
And less than a month before I turn the page.
Every day is love. ♥
To say that every day of my life is full of joy and happiness would be a lie. Sometimes things go wrong and people seem to change in a blink of an eye.. but at the end of the day, I always believe that my life is perfect. And it's perfect only because I believe it is.
And.. that's the story of how I fell in love with my life every day this summer.
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